Better Half

Family, Life, and Politics from Wifey

In God I Trust?..Apparently Not! November 30, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — raitking @ 4:41 am

Shaun always shares his sermon series ideas with me. Sometimes I approve, sometimes I don’t. And I always let him know-not that it matters-he listens to God, not me, and that’s usually a good thing 🙂

When he showed me the graphic being designed for the current series I hated it. I didn’t understand what iGwt meant and frankly when he told me the whole title I thought it was ridiculous. inGodwetrust??…Who’s Your Money’s Daddy?? Silly, huh?

I went into this series on finances thinking I pretty much knew everything he was going to say.   A lot of the time he has already shared his major points with me, and I’ve had a chance to give my thoughts on it.    So I generally listen-I’m ashamed to say- to critique, and not so much to learn. That’s terrible, I know.

I am a tither and have been one consistently for years. But you know what I discovered during this’s still not easy for me. And I wonder if Shaun weren’t in charge of our finances, would I be such a faithful tither? We are because he makes sure of it. But could I be trusted to do it on my own?? After today’s message, I think the answer, shockingly, is “no.”

Today Shaun used the story of the rich man who came to Jesus asking how to inherit eternal life to make the point that too many of us-most of us- have a heart attachment to money and the things money can buy. He also showed us that serving Money means not serving God because we cannot serve both. Fine. I’m good on all of that. Or so I thought. I’m not rich. I really don’t have ANY money. And very few of my life decisions are guided by money. After all I quit my job- a well paying job- to be a SAHM and home school my kids. No one who loves money does that.

But man, I was convicted today! I may not care about money in and of itself, but I am attached to the things money can buy. Number one being clothes. I buy something new-for myself or my kids- at least once a week. Now I have a lot of children- who are constantly growing and in need of things. And I shop bargains- like for real. I never buy anything that’s not on the clearance rack. But all that’s just a justification for unnecessary spending.

Last week during Shaun’s message I thought I heard God suggest I go a year w/o buying any new clothes.  It was a passing thought- one I wasn’t much interested in- so I let it go.  I ignored God.  See?  That’s proof that I have a heart attachment.  I think I hear the voice of God and I ignore it, because the idea of being w/o my STUFF is too unbearable.  And then to put the icing on the cake Shaun goes and confirms what I thought I heard last week.

Randomly during his sermon today he says “maybe God has told you not to buy any new clothes for two years.”  My face did like the rich man’s in the bible- it fell!  I said nothing to Shaun of what I thought I heard God suggest. Who knew?  Shaun does actually speak as the spirit gives him utterance-joke- I’ve always known he was “anointed.” Although God clearly told me one year- not two 🙂

Really it’s not so much about the clothes. It’s about letting God be the Daddy of my money.  It’s about letting go of material things and pursuing the things of God.   Until today I would have already thought that I could do that.  But if I cringe at the thought of not buying any new clothes for a year, how could I let go of the clothes I already have, or my car, my bed, my house?  Could I give up our almost payed off car and share the truck with Shaun so that a single mother who didn’t have a way to work could provide for her family?  Can I commit the cost of a year’s worth of clothing for myself to the support of a hungry child somewhere in the world? If I had a check for $9000 and needed the money, but clearly heard God say to turn it over to someone He felt needed it more, could I do it?  At this point, absolutely not!  This means I don’t trust God, and God is NOT my money’s Daddy.

Here’s the kicker..if God took it all away from me, I think I could deal with it better than having to willingly give it away to someone who needed it.  The first would be beyond my control, the second would require a level of generosity I don’t possess.That’s a hard truth to know about myself.

So no new clothes for a year.  I’m looking forward to the challenge.  And it will be a challenge. I have pretty much failed at every “fast” I’ve ever undertaken.

But I’m excited to see how much of our capital I can free up to be used for God’s work instead of another piece of stitching to cover my ever growing rear-by the way, I plan to give that some work this new year too 😉


7 Responses to “In God I Trust?..Apparently Not!”

  1. suzqf Says:

    I have the EXACT same struggle… I would give someone anything I have… I am not selfish… (these are the thoughts in my head…) I literally have 2 closets of church clothes… I would give anyone anthing they want out of my closet… but it’s really not about not being selfish… it’s about making room for more… and it’s about not liking to wear something to church more than twice in one season… (yes, I know that is ridiculous…) I was just on a fast and I fasted t.v and shopping… I near died… not over the t.v….. over the shopping… I am a bargain hunter like you… but I like to wear a new dress to church every week… as we did the fast for 40 day…. the first 2-3 weeks weren’t so bad because I still had new stuff in the closet that had never been worn… still had tags on it… but the last 2-3 weeks… I had to rewear stuff… and IT WAS ROUGH…. especially the shoes… oh how I need a new pair of black shoes… (I easily have 7-8…)

    this is horrible… there are so many Christ centered things all this money should be going to or so many others without work and more in need than me… and still I struggle every saturday to not go… God has been dealing with me on this for a long time and it’s just terrible…

    I want you to know that you are not alone in this struggle… I don’t know if it is about the image that we as females feel that we need to keep up or if it is just about love of material things… I am unsure what it is… I wish it would go away instead of me having to die to it…. (lololol…) I commend you on the ENTIRE YEAR of not shopping unnecessarily… I will be a prayer partner for you if you like… as I said, i did 40 days and may have died from it… I really will be in prayer for you as you try for a whole year…. (Lord have MERCY…)

  2. david Says:

    Awesome word! You hit me right between the eyes with this post!

  3. Dona Pugh Says:

    As I read this blog, the first thing that strikes me is that you and Shaun must be a dynamic duo at Courageous Church! This blog can preach!! 🙂 I so appreciated your authenticity and transparency! There were many statements that served as a reminder and encouragement to me in regards to stewardship. After all, everything I am or have is the Lords. There are just times that I forget or ignore that fact! I generally don’t have a problem with wanting stuff.( Especially if I stay away from the mall or other peoples houses–looking at stuff tends to make you desire it!) I want every area of my life committed to Christ–inch by inch I am making headway as I know Him more and trust Him more. My prayer is, Lord, show me what you want me to do in way of personal finance, giving, etc.and then please help me to obey!

    God bless you as you demonstrate your obedience to Christ! God bless you, Shaun, your family, and the Courageous Church family and ministry! Praying that you all will bear much fruit in the Atlanta area and beyond! Thanks for the inspiration you have been to me today!

  4. RayShonda Says:

    Wow. This is something. I sort of ran into your blog some kindof way and I must say it is a blessing. I really needed to hear this. I don’t have a lot of clothing nor do I buy clothing like that, but I can relate still with other things in my life. I must say you were “steppping all on my toes” today. : )

  5. Dion Evans Says:

    Wow Rai! That was an awesome post. We all could use a little more generosity and trusting God when it comes to our finances and how we handle them. Again, that was awesome post. Great series @ Courageous Church! It gives a whole new meaning to “Whose Your Daddy?” 🙂

  6. Tiffany Says:

    Thanks for your post. Although I am not one that owns a closet full of clothes, I still struggle with giving God His due in his area. This is one area that, if I’m honest with myself, I am still not submitted or committed. My prayer is that God helps me to obey and commit myself to a more disciplined financial life. Again, thanks.

  7. SomeGirl Says:

    Great post! I love the way God spoke more clearly for you to hear by suggesting TWO years… He has a way of getting our attention, doesn’t He!? I’m looking forward to following your blog! – Michelle

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