Better Half

Family, Life, and Politics from Wifey

My TERRIBLE Two Year Old May 12, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — raitking @ 3:23 pm

019I know everyone has heard of the terrible two’s. And there are competing theories on it. Some say it actually occurs the year between 1 and 2. Others say it’s the year between 2and 3. Still others say the terrible two’s are a myth altogether and aren’t a real stage at all.

Well I hope that’s not true. I hope the terrible two’s really do exist and that it occurs between the year 2 and 3. I hope this is the case because it is the only way I can explain my son’s HORRIBLE behavior. His name is Ezekiel but we call him Ezee for short. Except my husband likes to joke that there is NOTHING “Easy” about him. The boy is AWFUL!

He’s one of those kids you see in public behaving so terribly you want to interject on behalf of the parent. He’s THAT kid!!

What’s more is that he only seems to be this way when we (Shaun and I) are around. We recently went out of town and left him with his godparents and he was a complete ANGEL. My girlfriend didn’t believe that he could ever throw a fit because he was so polite and well behaved.

Here’s the thing- I’m plenty strict with him. I’m a school teacher and he’s my 3rd kid so I know how to “lay it down” if you will. And his dad is very loving- very gentle and long suffering. So he’s getting both approaches to discipline.

So what is it? Why does he scream, and cry, and act a fool with the two people who love him the most in the world, and save his “I’m so adorable” routine for everyone else?

I’m really looking forward to age 3. I love my son (I’d fight a lion for him), but I’m looking forward to LIKING him.

Any advice?

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13 Responses to “My TERRIBLE Two Year Old”

  1. Melissa Foiles Says:

    You know, Rai, I’ve done reading on this, especially since Lizzy is being raised in a household of three women and I needed to know what was up with the fits! I think it’s that they are establishing limits, finding out who’s in “power” and who the final authority is, and who will cave under pressure.

    I don’t know what you’re dealing with, but at my house, Lizzy always has an advocate. If one of us is getting on her, someone else is either laughing at the “cuteness” of it all or defending her altogether.

    Maybe this is more for me than you, but if you can glean anything helpful out of it, I hope it helps!

    Praying for you!

  2. suzqf Says:

    my son is 18. he is a best friend and a worst enemy. I love him enough to die for him or kill for him. he has been a struggle since conception. I cannot imagine loving a man more than this one of my own body. cherish the good things with the bad. there will be no one like him ever again. and the childhood days will be gone before you can turn around.

    by God’s grace I also have a daughter, 17 who is going to Spelman in the fall. she is angelic at all times. no struggles. no problems. the balance of our awesome God.

    • raitking Says:

      you’re right. i will try to keep some perspective and see him as a “long term project.” i know there will be some things about this age that I will surely miss. thanks for your advice.

      • suzqf Says:

        p.s. he is the cutest thing… and my son has he biggest heart ever… the ornery ones usually do… he will too… you are learning self control and valuable lessons to give to another mother another day… God is in control at all times… you know the scripture… this too shall pass… joy comes in the morning… not tomorrow morning though…lolol…

  3. Kristy Says:

    I don’t know why it’s around the parents that our kids get so hard to deal with. Rachel is 20 months now-she pushes me (hard) toward the kitchen and screams ALL DAY LONG for snacks. I love her, it’s driving me up the wall.
    I’ve got no answers.

    • raitking Says:

      Oh my! I know that’s tough. We are dealing with hitting as well. I tried “an eye for an eye” basically hit me and I’ll hit you back. Kind of defeats the point though. Can’t really teach not to hit by hitting I guess. Who knows girl?

  4. Kim Says:

    Our daughter got really bad after she turned 3. We had a couple days with time-out after time-out (we put her in time-out and also her stuffed animals & toys) and she’s much better, but it still comes out every now & then. And you’re right – they are totally the worst around parents. I like to think that it’s because she feels really secure around us and knows that no matter what she does we will always love her. But maybe that’s just me being delusional because her behavior has made me CRAZY.

  5. Michele Says:

    So honest Rai, and I can 100% relate to what u r expressing. Being that we r BFF Families ;-), we know each other far too well. When I saw your Twitter post, it caught me off guard and I responded b4 following your link. Having read it, I have a few things to share. 1st of all remember when Aria was insane like EZ??? We laugh now, but then I was stressed as heck with her. Now look at her, hard to imagine that it is the same child. Let that encourage you. With her you remember we prayed like crazy and even joked about”laying hands on her” (don’t call the police folks, we meant in a spiritual way…most of the time. LOL) Anyway, we really did pray over her bcuz it can be very frustrating as a parent. Never got to the point of not “liking” her but I did get there with Daniel and just to encourage u again, I had forgotten that until typing this. I can recall having many a moment of just not liking him an I felt so guilty about it.Cried many a day over it. It worried me for his future and everything. Well although he is still quite the lil bugger, he is much better. I prayed about that too…not to sound all “holy,holy” but I am just being real. In our own power it can stress us completely out, but invite God in ask for peace, wisdom, and ask Him to touch EZ’s spirit. This too will pass.

    And finally, the fact that EZ is an angel away from you guys (and he was PERFECT, polite, mannerable, loving, gentle, obedient etc. etc.)speaks VOLUMES as to who you and Shaun are as parents. The true evidence of who we are is when we are tested! (Wow…doesn’t that minister)He passed the test Rai an that is only because you guys as parents are doing the very best you can to train him in the way that he should go (all of your children). Your labor with him is not in vain, hang in there and be encouraged sis!! Love ya like crazy!

    • raitking Says:

      ok wow!…please don’t make me cry like that again…you know too much šŸ™‚

      you are sooo right about Aria! i had forgotten all about that! you would NEVER know that she was any problem to look at her today. she is absolutely the sweetest child EVER!

      i will pray for him and ME just as you said. so funny how we forget how important this is and take our concerns to God last instead of first! you always say you can tell when I haven’t yet prayed about something. and here we go again! one of these days Lord, I will learn šŸ™‚

      Love ya girl! Talk to you tonight? family night tonight, but let’s try to squeeze in a call.

  6. Michele Says:

    Okay one more thing, that I tried to add b4 you read the last post, but I see I was too late. šŸ™‚ This hit me as I was doing laundry right after typing the above msg. How you said that EZ only shows out with you all and is the perfect angel with others. Speaks to how we do God…we totally test Him…the one who loves us the most (just as you said about EZ) we show our tails with Him…and give everything else our best…just something to make us say hhhhmmmm…got my attention for sure!

  7. Chad Says:

    Im sorry Rai but this picture makes me laugh…..lol……… i will ask my mom what i did when i was little and i will come back and comment later……………. again that picture…….lol

  8. Chrystal Says:

    Hi Rai

    This is Chrystal from MK. I thought it was just me. I have a son who just turned 4 and wow. We love him so much. He is our first born and all I can say is that I am speechless. We do everything we can to show him love as a family and spend time with him, however the more we do the worse the behavior. Let me know what you figure out with your son.

    Chrystal

  9. judy Says:

    Me again. Just read about your EZEE baby, and you took me back again. Our son was like that–but only with me. I knew something was not right, but as an inexperienced mom, I was stuck between society’s “Don’t ever lay a hand on them” and my church’s “Beat him with a rod; he will not die”.

    Neither worked. I had the kid who alternated between being the sweetest kid in the world, and screaming at the top of his lungs.

    I noticed that certain foods would set him off. By trial and error, I eliminated many, but it did not cure him.

    Years later, we now know that he has Asperger’s Syndrome. So does his son, and so do I.

    Won’t go into details here, but please check out different physical reasons for your son’s behavior. He has a reason for doing what he does. Will be praying for you. Let us know!


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