Better Half

Family, Life, and Politics from Wifey

Oh ME of little faith May 4, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — raitking @ 10:11 pm


So I know I haven’t blogged in a couple of weeks.  It really sucks too because my blog traffic had gotten really high (for me anyway), and now it’s down to nil.  It’s just been really busy around here lately.  Pastor “Big Time” has been conferencing and speaking all over the place, and I’ve been following him around riding his coattails 🙂

I’ve missed a couple of family night posts.  I would try to make them up, but I’ll probably never get to them.  So I’ll just start over again with tomorrow’s family night post.  We plan to celebrate Cinco de Mayo Kingteam style.

For today though, I just want to blog about something AMAZING that happened in the life of Courageous Church.  Last Thursday Shaun sent out one of his many mass emails.  This one was about the need to raise $5000 for the down payment on a suite in the building where we hold services we’re hoping to renovate and use for many things like office space, and children’s ministry on Sunday morning. I actually rolled my eyes when I read the email and thought ‘there he goes again pulling stuff out of his rear (except I didn’t think “rear” exactly).

Now Shaun is famous for the BIG dreams and goals he sets.  We’re complete opposites in this.  I tend to think in more practical terms which I’m starting to see actually means small terms.  Most of what he sets out to do I pretty much count out and deem impossible.

Well he and God have proved once again that I AM SO LAME! I didn’t think there was anyway we’d get $5000 by today.  I’ve been planning our expanded children’s ministry for this magical date when the suite would be renovated and we could host more children than the conference room we currently use allows.  But I thought it would take months b/c once again I’m lame and still limit what God can do.  And I also limit Shaun’s ability to search God’s heart and follow His plans.  He does this with a confidence I lack, and respect.

Friday after sending the mass email appeal, Shaun received an email from a man whose family had visited the Courageous Church a week ago.  He said he had a donation he wanted to give to the church but wanted to hand it to Shaun in person.  Of course me being me -I didn’t think much of it.  We meet all types of weird and crazy people.  I assumed this was another one of those.

You can guess where this is going….Shaun had breakfast with the man and he handed him over two checks: One for the church in the amount of $10,000!!! And one for our family (not for $10,000, but for an amount that helped and was sorely needed).  Who just forks over $10,000?  I tell you who- a man who has money but whose money doesn’t have him.  Now it might not sound like much to some people.  Especially if your church is big and well established.  But ours isn’t.  It’s small and new.  No million dollar budgets over here.

I think God’s wondering how many times He has to allow me to be on the edge of a cliff before I’ll trust that He’s got a parachute, a plane, or more rock to rescue and/or sustain me?  I mean seriously.  I’ve had to trust Him sooo many times.  And God has ALWAYS been there…ALWAYS.

When the odds were long (a C average student getting into Spelman College), when the way seemed dim (ok baptist preacher language there) and we didn’t know which way to go (Shaun losing a job-or multiple jobs actually :-), when we needed a miracle (the car accident, Kendi’s illness earlier this year)..God has NEVER forsaken us.

I’m going to work harder on trying God at His word and trusting Him for BIG things…because He’s certainly a BIG God!

Oh, and Shaun took the check to the bank and verified the funds…it’s all legit 🙂


32 Responses to “Oh ME of little faith”

  1. Debo Blue Says:

    See what happens to those of us who try to be practical in this walk? We’re always embarrassed when God just shows out! Thank God for answering and delivering! He’s a great God and we just have to trust Him. Now, as I’m typing this I’m encouraging myself too.

    • raitking Says:

      I know, huh? Shaun doesn’t prove me wrong often 😉 But when it comes to issues of faith, he always wins. I’m getting better though.

  2. Faye Says:

    I can so relate to the practical “small faith” thank you for sharing…

    I want to dream those big dreams, God!

  3. Monise Says:

    Thanks Rai,

    I was having a conversation with God last night. I have been unemployed for 2.5 years..not the 3-6 months like others who are out searching for work. I am a single parent with 3 kids and a mortgage…I have been diligently seeking work but to no avail. There are other projects to which I have dedicated and sacrificed, all with the belief that I have been doing what God intended me to do. I feel somewhat relieved to know that (1) suvch thoughts are ‘normal’ and (2) I am not alone in ‘I’ll believe it when I see it.’

    Thank you so much for your candor and honesty. I really needed that.

    • raitking Says:

      Continue to be encouraged and continue to pursue the things of God. He won’t ever forsake you. I too am encouraging myself in this daily.

  4. Soul Pundit Says:

    It’s comforting to know that this is a struggle we all share. Such a large, awesome God willing to dabble in our meager affairs is sometimes so hard to believe. But as a certain pastor said, when we bring the big challenges to God, He will always let us know he’s there.

    • raitking Says:

      I know huh? So crazy to think the God of creation is not only mindful of us, but loves and cares. I think we’d all walk around a lot more secure if we remembered that!

  5. Dion Evans Says:

    Awesome post sis. God is a HUGE GOD and loves a person who dreams HUGE. Ephesians 3:20

  6. Lynnette Says:

    wow Rai! didnt know you had a blog! I love it!its like seeing shaun…only..softer.awesome!Im with you on needing to learn how to trust that if it lines up with Gods will he will always come thru…its def something im working on and praying about.its hard when your whole life you felt like you had to always fix everything and now to learn that i dont have to go it alone …its hard to get used to . thanks for reminding me!

    • raitking Says:

      Yeah girl I’ve been blogging for a few months now. Shaun got tired of me wanting to write on his, so he set this one up 🙂

  7. Cyndi Says:

    Woohoo!!! Not sure if I spelled it right, but I think you know what I mean. I’m soo proud of you two. God is so good. I know he has to be laughing at us sometimes (sort of when our kids do something and we shake our head and say if they only knew). You sound a lot like me, but I’m learning (notice I didn’t say I learned 🙂 ) to just let go and trust him in “all” things, because when I try to go it alone is when he knocks me down. It gets my attention and forces me to just let go and let God do his thing. And of course his plans for me are always bigger and better then anything I could ever have imagined on my own. Shaun seems to have learned that lesson fairly early (that or he is just straight up crazy…which I think you have to be a little if you are a pastor). I can’t wait to see what other big dreams God places in your path.

  8. S.Peri Says:

    I really needed that today. Thank you. This morning I was feeling down (read: sorry for myself), and wondering if God still “has” me. I know He does — He is continually faithful to me. I needed to be reminded that He takes care of all our needs and that He’s always there for us. Thanks, again, for you uplifting blog.

    • raitking Says:

      Thanks for your comment. We all need a little uplift now and then. So glad this helped you!

  9. suzqf Says:

    Let me remind you that I really love you and your husband… I see you and I see a real life christian team… I think that is so important… please don’t take this as a negative, because it is not… but you show that you are not perfect as the world expects someone to be… but you are certainly daily affecting the world in a postive way for our God… God will continue blessing you and your family… oh yeah… I am the big dreamer… like the man you support and raise his arms daily… and I honestly know what a large task that is… you are a blessing every day….

  10. suzqf Says:

    woops… I got so excited telling you that you are a blessing to me, that I forgot the point of the story… I “lead” (term used loosely… as I receive enormous help from volunteers…) the children’s ministry in our church and it is an awesome thing… you will be so enriched and encouraged by these kids… I promise you it is the truth…. I would like to hear from you and share ideas and things that work any time you are able…

  11. LaNeitria Says:

    PRAISE THE LORD! When I saw your husband’s blog post about needing money, I thought to myself that there is someone out there who has the money and that the goal will be accomplished. It is great to know that God confirmed what your husband was believing in. As many Baptist preachers say, “God does not give a vision without provision”!

    I am also learning to trust in God more. It is very liberating to believe and then see the move of God. This is the stretching period for you and your faith. Just imagine, when your faith gets to another level, your ministry won’t be stopped!! You, your family and your ministry are in my prayers.

  12. Brook Says:

    Thank you so much for posting this. My husband and I are embarking on one of those ‘impossible for anyone but God’ endevours an dI must admit my faith gets a little shaky. I want to be practical and logical and figure it iall out and he wants to be foolish (i.e. trust God). THank you for putting it all in perspective for me!

    • raitking Says:

      Sounds just like Shaun and I! Practicality has its place (God did give us the ability to think logically). Just have to balance it.

  13. LaNeitria Says:

    I have a question: Do you all have analytical minds? I am very analytical and I think that this trait of mine has in the past impacted my level of faith.

    • raitking Says:

      Being too analytical can certainly impact your faith. We have to believe that God is capable of things that don’t make sense. The whole story of christianity doesn’t make analytical sense. A man, born of God and a virgin, dieing on the cross to save all the sins of the world? Sounds ridiculous right? If we can believe that, we can believe God for anything!

  14. estherowens Says:

    Praise God!!!! Rai, I go through that “lack of faith” phase from time to time; especially when it goes to church planting. But, what helps me is to constantly think about what he has done for us just like you did in your post. Also, I tried to stay in the word as much as I can after all faith comes by hearing the word of God. One of the reasons why I dig you is because you are real enough to tell the world you struggle with faith. So many pastor’s wives act like they are so holy with no struggles and I cant stand it….so big up for being real and honest.

  15. Michele Says:

    Amazing story, testimony. Yet another confirmation that God’s hand is upon your ministry. I rejoice with you and praise God for another reminder of His faithfulness. I am far from where I need to be as it relates to believing God for the impossible, but yet I press on… and your story is a glimpse of hope for me. Super happy for you guys!!! Love ya!

    • raitking Says:

      What an eloquent response! You remind me of my mom the way you wrote that 🙂 Love ya sis!

  16. K. Denise Says:

    Hi Rai,

    This was so awesome. Thank you for your honesty and your friendly reminder that sometimes we describe our fear as practicality! It’s important to be practical, but nothing is better than free falling into the arms of God!!!!

    Whenever you have doubts, as we all sometimes do, I would recommend that you listen to Israel Houghton song #10 (the title escapes me) from the Power of One CD. It’s a gentle reminder that God hears every prayer and he’s going to answer them. I love the work that you all are doing!

    Have a blessed day!

  17. bwoG Says:

    I know this is “older” post but when I read it I knew I had to respond. First to the balance that I see between you and your husband (I love it when I see God work this way) and even though you call it small ways/practical ways it is all relevant – for to get to the big we go through the small–it is from faith to faith—you and Shaun show that balance we need not only in Ministry but the Body (of Christ)….I am so excited in all that the Lord is doing through courageous church- He is faithful all He asks is that we Only Believe!

    God Bless…I am catching up on all my reading between you and Shaun’s blogs – I just love them!!

  18. Barbara Says:

    Rai, I just Love you’ll frist time on your blog and I can’t seem to leave! Beautiful children!! God is always as you said there for us, he just wants us to trust and have FAITH in him!! God does what he says he will do!! Love, Barbara

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