Better Half

Family, Life, and Politics from Wifey

Countdown to Launch…Day 9, I think? January 3, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — raitking @ 6:25 am

wife-husband-argueSo I’ve missed a day or two on the updates…but my baby girl has been so sick, so I get a pass.

Today in the life our launch:

Shaun and I met with the guy that is going to be helping out with the music. He’s a hip-hop DJ. We and our other music guy met the DJ and his wife at Felini’s Pizza. I made a fool of myself by ordering a ridiculous amount of food (I was hungry, and am eating for two…so that doesn’t make me greedy, right?).
I enjoyed talking with his wife. I can tell she is a mature, grounded woman who cares deeply for her husband and her family’s well-being. I will be glad to have them on board, but I am a little skeptical of this whole DJ thing. I’m used to seeing a keyboardist, drummer, and some guitars. We’re instead going to have two turn tables and a microphone. We’ll see how this works.

#2-I’m working with one of our launch team members on getting Children’s Ministry up and rolling. We will be having breakfast tomorrow to go over the curriculum and purchase supplies. She will be the director. But I’ve done this before from scratch, so I am just helping with the initial organizing.

#3- Shaun and I are having a tift. I am finding it difficult to watch him do certain things in a way that I wouldn’t do. I see his many strengths, and I see his weaknesses. I try to compensate for his weaknesses, and he resents that, I think. Working out my role in this whole church planting thing is difficult. I want to help because I know I can. I’m just not sure the best approach. I refuse to fall out with him over church stuff though, so I’m going to keep my mouth shut for a couple of days (imagine that) and talk to God instead.  I’ll let you know how this works and if God (which often sounds like the voice of my girlfriend Michele) says anything back!

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7 Responses to “Countdown to Launch…Day 9, I think?”

  1. Cyndi Says:

    Ok can I just say I am loving this. We didn’t plant a church but we are basically starting from scratch and even though Marc and Shaun are two completely different types of pastors I relate to you in so many ways. Marc doesn’t seem to let much bother him so most of the time I am the one riunning around saying are you sure about this Lord (lol). I am praying for you all and look forward to seeing what God has in store for you and your family. I may have to get with you on this hold CM thing. I thought I was out of it, but God keeps pulling me back in and we need a CM as soon as possible. And I even get the singing thing (was suppose to sing beside hubby New Years Eve and chickened out….its been a while). I don’t think there will be any auditions at WABC either (we need all of the people we can get to do ministry). As they use to say….you pray for me and I’ll be praying for you.

    • raitking Says:

      Yeah, it seems we pastor’s wives can’t get away from CM. I don’t know why that is. When God calls the husband he definitely calls the wife as well-to one thing or another!

  2. allyana Says:

    I have NO idea how I got to this website, but I happened to read your comments about you and Shaun having a tift cause he doesn’t do things the way you would do them. That is because Shaun is NOT you! He is what God made him, and maybe he doesn’t do things YOUR way, but there are probably a bunch of things you don’t do HIS way. Just my two cents, but it is coming from someone *very* experienced…married for over 30 years to someone who has MS and messes up a bunch. But one day someone said “imagine being stuck in his body” and it slapped me into realization that he’s doing the best he can….and I have no right to ask for more than his best.

  3. LaNeitria Says:

    God bless you and your husband with the launch. I have been praying for you. I have a question for you: What things should a woman who is a minister’s/pastor’s wife expect? I ask because I have become an armorbearer for my pastor’s wife, but I don’t believe that she was fully prepared for the role. I would just like to know so that I’ll know what to pray for.

    Thanks. I really enjoy your blog as well as Cyndi’s. I pray that your daughter gets better.

    • raitking Says:

      Greetings LaNeitria!
      I would refer you to a post I wrote a few months back about the “role” of a pastor’s wife. In it my basic point was that there are very few specific duties or dispositions that ought to automatically be attributed to the spouse of any pastor. One, the bible lays out none except those that are common to all wives, and as we are all individuals and not barbies manufactured in a warehouse, we shouldn’t be expected to be anything but ourselves.
      I’m wondering what makes you think your pastor’s wife wasn’t “fully prepared” for the role. Has she expressed such thoughts to you personally? Or is this what you’ve gathered from being around her. I would admonish you that as her armorbearer your loyalties are to her. To be her helper and confidant when necessary, and not to sit in judgment of her whatsoever. Believe me we have enough people judging us and don’t need nor expect it from those we trust to serve closest to us. I’m not saying this is what you have done. But just be careful not to.
      No matter what, she is the woman God has designed to be with your pastor. Whether she does it magnificently or poorly is for her husband to decide, and no one else. If you truly desire to pray for her, don’t pray that she meet the standards of some made up role. Pray that she and her household be in peace. Pray that she understand who she is in God and serve Him and her husband in excellence according to the scripture (not according to how anyone else thinks she should do it). Pray that God surrounds her with people who love her and will protect her. Pray that she knows the joy of the Lord when the enemy and the weight of her responsibilities do all they can to steal it from her. Pray for her as you would anyone else.
      And if serving alongside her is what you’ve been privileged to do, do it with gratefulness and humility. Best of luck!

  4. Cyndi Says:

    And let me just add that I don’t think any of us are ever prepared! I knew the day would come and I still sit in amazement that I am here. I learn something new each day, and my only prayer (as far as my role as a pastors wife) has been that I do it God’s way (and not Cyndi’s).

  5. LaNeitria Says:

    Thanks Rai and Cyndi,

    Your words offer a lot of encouragement. I just wanted another perspective from those who are already in this role (you and Cyndi) so I won’t make any judgements about her. Everything about this situation is new. We haven’t had a pastor’s wife up to this point. I have also never been an armorbearer, so both of us are just trying to feel our way through to see how things are going to be done and/or handled. I have begun studying the role of armorbearers in the Bible to also gain some guidance on this issue.

    When I say that I didn’t think that she was “prepared”, I meant that I don’t think that she knew how she was going to I guess “fit” into the role for lack of a better term. It’s hard for me to explain. It’s a perspective that I’ve gathered just being around her. I don’t believe that it is something that she should be judged on, because while I believe that she loves my pastor, I don’t think that the full realization of the role hit her until after they got married. While I don’t believe that the role of a pastor’s wife should follow some pre-determined protocol, I pray that she find and use her own gifts. I guess my concern was/is that she not lose herself spiritually trying to fit the expectations of others. You know, not trying to perform in certain ministries because she feels like she has to, but do what God has called her to.

    I hope that makes since. This role is causing me to be stretched spiritually as well. I am finding that I have to be bolder, as well as highly discerning of people and their motives. I have also learned that I am going to be watched as well. I was used to “existing in the shadows” so to speak. This position is slowly but surely stripping me of the anonymity that I enjoy. Even though I already work in ministry, I enjoyed the fact that I served behind the scenes without being noticed. I just do what God leads me to do.

    Again, thanks for the admonishment and encouragement.


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